Culinary Background

I received my first culinary experience at age seven when I got a banana wedged between my legs. As a teenager, I worked at Taco Bell mastering the art of deep frying and burrito folding. After receiving my high school degree, I was not offered any scholarships, therefore, I traveled abroad to gain entrance into a culinary institution. I left with only $50 and a letter of recommendation from my night shift manager at Taco Bell. I was never accepted into any program, but managed to experience countless drinks and dishes that inspired me to continue. Returning to the United States, I found it difficult to land a position at a top restaurant. I was often told I was too stupid to prepare the cuisine and too fat to serve it. I've now conceded to failure, eat other people's food, and write for various publications, none of which have been published.